Sometimes I feel like a "bad mom." You know what I'm talking about. These are the things that creep in and make me feel like a bad mom on a regular basis:
- Staying up late watching the Olympics and being totally worthless as a mother the next day ;)
- Eating fast/convenience foods - a lot...because I can't get dinner on the table
- Using my TV as a babysitter (AKA: more than one 30 minute show per day - I know, GASP!)
- Laying on the couch watching Carter play by himself instead of playing with him
- Not getting my Bible Studies done
- Getting angry (yes, I admitted that - angry) when I hear my children waking EARLY in the morning or from naps...
- Falling asleep on the couch rather than spending quality time with hubby after boys are in bed
Unfortunately, this is what my home has looked like a lot over tha past 2 months. I know I just had a baby, but my mind says things shouldn't be this way. I write this as I am sitting here watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with my 2 year old because he asked nicely and I am too tired to say "No." So for all you moms out there who are as tired as I am, I'm claiming this verse for us today...
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1
...a time to engage in brain stimulating activity and a time to watch tv...
...a time to eat healthy foods and a time to eat junk...
...a time to cook and a time to get in the car and go to chick-fil-a...
...a time to play with kids and a time for them to learn the skill of playing by themselves...
...a time for peace and quiet and a time of screaming, hollering, and whining...
...a time to sleep-in and a time to get up very early in the morning because you have to...
...a time to spend quality alone time together and a time to both fall asleep and end up drooling on yourself while watching tv...
...a time to be a mommy of endless patience and a time for separation of mommy and toddler....
...a time to eat healthy foods and a time to eat junk...
...a time to cook and a time to get in the car and go to chick-fil-a...
...a time to play with kids and a time for them to learn the skill of playing by themselves...
...a time for peace and quiet and a time of screaming, hollering, and whining...
...a time to sleep-in and a time to get up very early in the morning because you have to...
...a time to spend quality alone time together and a time to both fall asleep and end up drooling on yourself while watching tv...
...a time to be a mommy of endless patience and a time for separation of mommy and toddler....
...a time to go to bed early and a time to watch team USA until midnight...
Maybe someday this difficult season will be over - right now things are crazy in our house, and I can't even remember the last time I brushed my hair.
Additional Note (added later in the day):
After writing this post, I found myself singing this song today, and there is so much truth to it. I'm clinging to the fact that this is just a season and trying hard to tune my ear to "The Voice of Truth." Thank you to everyone who has read this and commented...I don't write these things to get comments - more to clear my head - however, your comments are always sweet and filled with encouragement - so thanks :-)
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I would also like to add (for all of you who are in the same boat as me) that Stouffer's Family Size Frozen Meals are on sale for $3.99 at Publix this week. I'm stocking up! Jiff Peanut Butter (yes, I'm a choosy mom) is $3.79 and Tombstone Pizza's are $2.99 :-)
5 comments:
Carrie, I'm sorry life is so hard right now. A newborn and a toddler is a difficult season no matter how you spin it, and I don't think any of the things you mentioned would qualify you as a "bad mom." At all. With Ada, I couldn't see a positive change on a day by day basis, but when I looked back at the month before, I thought, "Wow. It's getting a little easier." It did, and it will. I think the attitude and the verse you've chosen are perfect! And brushed hair is so overrated. :) Hugs.
Just remember your not alone and don't feel bad for feeling the way you feel. You love your children and husband and they know that no matter what! As a mother of a 13, 5 and almost 3 year old, it is hard and I don't see it getting any easier. I still think trips to the grocery store by myself even if it's just to get milk are like a mini vacation!
I think you are doing great Carrie! You have a lot going on right now, I only have one toddler and I too am guilty of everything on that list. Don't give yourself a hard time, you husband and your sweet boys love you so much!
A wise friend of mine, who is on her fourth baby, told me before I had G that it takes 6 months before it starts to feel normal again. 6 months of too much tv and easy food won't hurt anyone. And its true, right around 6 months, you start realizing that your new normal is livable now. Number 2 is the hardest transition, too, so just hold on. Cut back on everything and then you'll eventually be able to start adding things back in.
I love reading your blog! You and I have so much in common (beyond our last name) :0)
I agree with the person that said the transition to 2 is very difficult - I've heard many times that it is the most difficult (even more so than adding more children later).
Thank you for being so candid and honest with what you think and feel - it's a nice change of pace from a lot of what people put on blogs or on Facebook. Try to rest and do whatever you can when you can. I always say "if it doesn't get done today, it will still be there for me to do tomorrow"...
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